I recently received big news.  Life changing news.  I’m going to be a grandmother.  When my son called me to tell me, I was silent for about 30 seconds.  But my head was spinning, so it could have been more like 30 minutes because I came to with him saying in a concerned voice, "Mom?  MOM?  MOOOOM?!? Are you okay?"  I regained my composure, responded in soothing tones and told him that babies are never bad news.  Of course they’re not.  Unless his/her grandmother lives in a house with almost 250 pounds worth of dogs and two very spoiled cats.  ...

Read more...

I used to spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning house.  I was certain I would receive a visitor at any moment that would pass judgment over the general filth and disarray in my home.  I’m over that.  I’m older and somewhat wiser with three large dogs and two cats living with me.  The mysterious disapproving visitor never showed up.

These days, when I read magazines that tell me how often I should vacuum in order to keep my allergies at bay and not serve pet hair with my meals, I feel a brief pang of guilt and then ...

Read more...

I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas.  I left excited to finally see the west and returned an exhausted husk of a woman.  Sin City rises from the dust like some sort of decadent Oz, a mecca for the self-indulgent.  To a slightly introverted Southern country girl, Las Vegas is overwhelming – everything is ostentatious, crowded, vivid, and noisy.  However, upon emerging from my catatonia, I’m remembering it fondly.

Five days into the trip, my boyfriend said, “Let’s go to Red Rock Canyon.”  I gave him a glassy-eyed stare and said, wanly, “’kay.”  He pulled ...

Read more...

I probably write about plumbing horrors too much.  But I have such a vast wellspring of experiences upon which to draw that I can’t resist.  My co-blogger, Matt, wrote about his experience replacing the faucet in his tub.  While his is a great story of successful DIY, mine is a cautionary tale.   I tried to replace my bathtub faucet, but as you can see from the photo above, my results were a bit…different.  Holy cow, people, it was a nightmare.  Granted, I have an older home and things just aren’t as simple in an older home.  The builder obviously had ...

Read more...

Last Saturday morning I was walking past my kitchen window draining the last of the cereal milk from the bowl, and stopped dead in my tracks, bowl still to mouth.  Surely, SURELY, I did not just see what I thought I saw.  I backed up a couple of steps, turned slowly, hopefully even, and looked out the window.  It’s a small window which means the gaping, freshly dug hole in my back yard basically took up the entire view.  My nice rectangular little back yard that so neatly accommodates my nice rectangular little house looked like a construction site.  ...

Read more...

Last night I hit my head so hard on the corner of my kitchen counter that I literally saw stars.  I also cried like a child, mouth open with real, salty tears coming out of my eyes.  I couldn’t help it, it was a pure reflex.  I blame it on my dog, a lab mix that doesn’t just shed, but deposits mounds of hair that float around the hard surfaces in my home like hovercraft.  I was chasing one when I hit my head; it was running from me but I cornered it at the cabinet.  I think it ...

Read more...

Why is it that every time I go on vacation, something goes awry at my house? A couple of weeks ago, I spent a long overdue weekend at the beach with my high school girlfriends. One day into an absolutely idyllic retreat, my ex-husband calls. “There’s water pouring out of your back door.” After a momentary out-of-body experience I calmly replied, “What’s going on?” “Your cut-off valve behind the washer is leaking.” (That proved to be an understatement). Well of course it is, I thought. I’ve been through this drill before. “It’s the hot water valve.” Nice. I was 300 ...

Read more...